TRANSCRIPT
I sat down here to make a video encouraging people to follow their dreams. But as I pondered this subject before I pressed record, I realized it’s a lot easier to say “follow your dreams” than it is to actually really follow your dreams.
I was told some different times along the way, even by my parents, “You need to follow your dreams, Daniel. Honor your dreams. Follow them.” And at some level, I believed them when they told me that. It really made sense to me because I did have dreams as a child. But then I started realizing that actually following my dreams was a heck of a lot harder than my parents and other adults in my life let on, especially when my dreams started to conflict with what my parents’ dreams were for me.
Because that’s what my parents didn’t tell me. They had all sorts of dreams and fantasies for me. And when they said, “Follow your dreams, Daniel,” what they were really saying at a more subtle level was, “Follow your dreams as long as your dreams don’t threaten me.” Because they had their own dreams, and part of their dream with having me at all was to raise me to be someone who always loved them, honored them, sacrificed myself for their needs. Certainly as a child, but even as an adult, that was supposed to be my job.
And when my dreams took me away from that and took me into myself, and took me into self-analysis, self-exploration, really looking at my history honestly, it was like that really conflicted with my parents’ dreams. And my parents hated me for that. And that’s when I realized, “Oh, following my dreams is not so easy.” Even though my parents inculcated in me this idea, “Oh, follow your dreams, it’s so great,” I realized it’s hard.
So when I sit down to make a video telling people, “Oh yes, follow your dreams,” I don’t want to fall into that simple, simplistic, denial-laden idea that my parents did to me. “Oh, follow your dreams, it’ll be so easy.” It’s like, nah. If your dreams go really deep, if your dreams are really unusual, if your dreams are really honest, if your dreams really encompass something that goes against certain social norms of our society, your society, your family system, your parents’ expectations of you, then following your dreams is going to be hell.
And so when I say “follow your dreams,” I still believe it more than ever because I think about myself having done it, but it’s been really hard. One thing is that being on the outs with my family meant that I really had to figure out how to survive in the world, function in society. I wasn’t getting a lot of the perks of being part of the family system—no more money, no more handouts, no more love, no more caring, no more kudos, no more respect.
Also, a lot of my dreams had a sort of artistic nature to them. I wanted to be a great writer. I wanted to be a painter at different points. None of this stuff actually made any money for me. I couldn’t figure out how to make money, especially since a lot of my artistic endeavors, especially about being a writer, even being a musician where I wrote lyrics and stuff like that, it kind of rubbed people the wrong way. I had more talent as a writer, but a lot of my writings, well, they went against the family system, especially as I evolved more. And that actually made it harder for me to make a living.
I thought for a long time, “Follow your dreams, go where you love, do what you love, and the money will follow.” And the money didn’t follow in the short term. So what I had to learn how to do was how to fit into society and do work—work that I didn’t really love necessarily so much, work that wasn’t necessarily so interesting or intellectually stimulating or societally approved of—but work that allowed me to make enough money to survive so that in my private time, I could continue to follow my dreams.
And also what I watched is over time my dreams shifted. And what they shifted more toward was something that unconsciously actually had always been there as a dream. And that primary dream really was, and now so much more strongly is, to be me. Not to be some great artist that does paintings and writings and, oh, revolutionize everything. It’s no, the real revolution, the real dream was to be my true self, to not lie to myself anymore.
My childhood, the traumas that I experienced, the feelings that I had to push down to survive in my family system, that required me to lie to myself and not really be me. And that was the undoing of my primary dream. And the more that I got away from my family, the more I started finding my feelings, connecting with the roots of what happened to me, the more that my real deep dream returned—to be me, to be honest. And that was hard and still is hard. I still don’t fit so well into society.
Hmm, it’s not so easy to make a living. I’ve often been kind of envious in different ways of people I’ve known, friends I’ve known, college friends of mine way back when, who went ahead and made lots of money—sometimes lots and lots of money—fitting in and being normal, not following that dream of being a deep true person. It’s a lot easier to fit in, make a lot of money, survive in society, get a lot of status in all sorts of different ways, be that alpha person by shutting down oneself.
And so a big part for me in following my dreams was sacrificing the kudos and the perks and the love of society and my family’s system, but getting something better—getting something far more valuable than any of those perks and status and money and kudos and romances and all that stuff. It was loving myself. And that has become my primary dream—to be the parent for myself that I never really had and having it all be on the inside and honoring the truth that comes out of my mouth.
And that’s where my real inspiration has come from. And so my art, my art now is to be able to so much more comfortably speak the truth in an inspired way and hopefully inspire some other people to do the same. But not to sugarcoat it with fake things like, “Oh, follow your dreams and everything will be so easy.” It’s like, no. Follow your dreams and everything will be hard. But also follow your dreams and also learn how to survive in this sick, corrupt, crazy world so that you can privately, and maybe to some degree, depending on how strong you get, more publicly follow your dreams, nurture your dreams, share your dreams.
Because I think that is the ultimate goal with all this—following your dreams. It’s to be of use to the world. Yes, first be of use to yourself, your real true self, but then by extension be of use to others. That’s something that I’ve enjoyed so much—the more I’ve become strong, figured out how to survive in the screwed-up world, do all sorts of work of different varieties that is not necessarily overtly connected or sometimes maybe very disconnected to my real primary dream.
I think of all the different jobs that I’ve done along the way that, well, aren’t the most inspired and aren’t the most artistically wow, respected and status-oriented, but give me enough time and freedom to do this deep inner work. Time to actually be able to spend the morning, once in a rare while on a weekend, sitting down in front of the camera and making a whole bunch of videos that really say what I think and talk about how I really feel and share, well, the manifestation of my dream of becoming true and real.
And also by following my dream, my dreams, but this primary dream of really being me and keeping it alive for years—four decades—keeping my body healthy so that my body can remain the temple that allows my deeper inner emotional, spiritual, psychological dreams to manifest. Well, that keeps a lot of the realization in me that I hopefully will live a lot longer. And the longer I keep my dreams alive, the more I can see the world outside of me changing too. And also realizing that maybe more people will continue to evolve and become healthier and more real, and that someday there may be a much bigger, bigger, hopefully a lot.
A bigger community of people who share a common dream can come together and manifest with a common dream that burns so much more brightly. That can inspire so many other people and maybe, hopefully, can make it easier for a lot more people, especially a lot more young people, to more easily manifest their deeper dreams.