TRANSCRIPT
The thought came to my mind recently that humanity, human beings, Homo sapiens, are overall, as a species, in a larval stage. We haven’t fully manifested our adult, mature form as a species. Most members of humanity, most being 99.9%, are stuck in this larval phase.
So what do I mean by that? Well, let me use an analogy. An analogy of humanity being in a larval phase is butterflies. You can take any species of butterfly, the monarch butterfly for example. The larval phase is the caterpillar. Imagine if monarchs never fully developed into butterflies, and monarchs only stayed at the larval caterpillar phase. There were just tons and tons of caterpillars everywhere, but they didn’t manifest into butterflies. Well, that’s how I see humanity. I see humanity as a lot of caterpillars wandering around the world and yet denying that the adult phase, denying that the mature adult reproductive phase, the butterfly, even exists.
That’s the difference between butterflies and humans. Nobody would say, “Oh, this caterpillar is the mature adult phase,” because the main reason is that these caterpillars can’t breed. And that is where the metaphor, the analogy, breaks down. Because this is the big difference with humanity: humans do not need to reach this mature adult phase, and I’m talking emotionally or psychologically, to be able to reproduce, to be able to procreate, to be able to breed. We’re like caterpillars that actually have the ability to breed, and we can breed more and more caterpillars.
So imagine that if monarchs, as a species, monarch butterflies, could breed in the caterpillar phase and they never actually became butterflies. They couldn’t fly, they couldn’t migrate, they couldn’t become the beautiful creatures that they are. Instead, they just stayed forever as caterpillars, and the caterpillars mated with each other and created more eggs and more caterpillars. Well, that’s what humans are like. And the difference is with humans is that we defend this as a good thing. We have all these rationalizations and say, “Oh, look, the caterpillar phase, the larval phase that we’re in is the best, is the greatest. Humanity is the greatest species. Humanity as a larval stage is wonderful. We are the ideal. We’re the pinnacle. We’re the pinnacle of consciousness, of technology, of maturity.” And it’s rationalization. It’s a lie. It’s denial because it’s not true.
And what’s so sad is that people, I believe, every person, given the right environment, every person who is a caterpillar and is defending themselves as being the highest stage, actually has the capacity to go to that next phase. But it’s so hard in such a screwed-up world. It’s so hard to get out of the larval phase because what I’ve seen, and I believe that I’ve been coming out of that larval phase. Am I a fully migrating monarch with tons and tons of other monarch adult butterflies, with tons and tons of other butterflies around me? No. And that’s why it’s so hard, I think, because I think in a way I am sort of a butterfly. I have sort of manifested in that way. I’ve come out of the larval phase. I was in the larval phase. I was raised by larvae, and I grew up to think that larvae was all I could ever accomplish. And yet for me, I was miserable in that. I hated it. And something in me just turned away from it and turned more to reality and to growing. And suddenly, it’s like I transformed.
It was very painful for a lot of time. I didn’t fit into society. That’s the cocoon that I went into. The falling out, being, feeling like a loser, feeling like a failure, being a failure in the eyes of society in so many ways, and not knowing what was going on and hating myself and wondering, “Has my life failed? Do I have no point? What’s going to happen to me?” And then boom! I came out of it, and suddenly these wings came out. I’m like, “What in the world has happened to me?” And it was wonderful. But in many ways, I was very alone, and that’s been a very painful part of my adult life.
That’s why if someday, and I really hope it happens, if someday humanity does go into a cocoon more, if the larval caterpillars of humanity, the masses of them, or a lot more of them, start to go into cocoons and start coming out. And I think it may be happening because I think it is happening more and more. But if more people do become butterflies and we congregate together, it’ll be a lot easier for more people to do this, for more people to go into cocoons and to become truly manifested adult butterflies.
Also, the more butterflies there are, the harder it is for the caterpillar larvae of humanity to defend their denial, to continue rationalizing, to continue to say, “Oh, we are the pinnacle of humanity,” when they can see that there’s something out there that’s clearly related to the caterpillar that’s a lot better, that’s a lot more independent, that can fly, that is free, that’s bigger, that’s more beautiful, that has all these new possibilities and that also can reproduce.
Now, interestingly, I haven’t reproduced. Not directly, not biologically. I haven’t created eggs and more larvae and helped them, you know, go through that phase. I haven’t created children. But I, in my own way, have been reproducing in a different way. I’ve been reproducing through consciousness, by sitting in front of this camera, for instance, by doing this scary thing of opening my mouth and talking about my life, talking about things that are kind of painful, embarrassing, that maybe I don’t want everybody to know. But I do it anyway because I want to share these ideas. And through this, some sort of consciousness gets reproduced. Some little egg gets laid out there in the world, and that can grow. And people can see something. In a way, I’m being the butterfly that says, “Look at my wings! Look at what I’ve become! Look at what I can think! Look at what more mature consciousness can be.” And I believe that does inspire, that does spark things in the world.
Yes, it can make people uncomfortable. It can make people who believe their larval stage is the ultimate be-all and end-all of the world. It can make them uncomfortable. It can make them turn away. And a lot of times, they do turn away. They just turn it off, and they move on, and they don’t listen to my videos. And I guess that’s just fine. But for some, it’s like that uncomfortable sense, that discomfort that they feel listening to this, I think especially early on, it can be just the motivation that can take people in a different direction.
And certainly, when I heard some of these ideas, when I found some of these ideas inside of myself, it had a big effect on me. Yes, very uncomfortable, but a discomfort that gave me hope. And it was that hope that motivated me to persevere through all the discomfort, through all the rejection, through all the sadness, through all the stigma that I went through and still go through. Because I’m still a caterpillar in some ways. I’m still a cocoon in some ways. I’m still that larva that’s growing. But the part of me that’s more manifested, that has big wings, that is a butterfly, that part calls the other parts of me forward. That is the parent side of me that speaks to the wounded, age-inappropriate, lost, confused larval part of me that keeps me going, that keeps me growing, keeps me motivated. And that’s what I hope to do with others.